TEST DRIVE MEME #5

[fairyfoes]

TEST DRIVE MEME

Considering apping to EACHDRAIDH? Why not give the setting a test run here! OPTIONAL SCENARIOS 01. ARRIVING IN THE DRABWURLD. The Seelie and Unseelie courts welcome you with mirthful revelry and hearty food. After you have been briefed on your purpose here, you will find an endless feast and a night filled with entertainment to placate your concerns. Mingle with new arrivals, sneak down the castle halls and make sure your eyes are always on your glass; fairies and imps have no bias when it comes to tricks! 02. THE STATION. Looking for a little slice of home? The Station gives you all that and more. Take advantage of the wifi, have a cup of fairy-brewed coffee (the one they didn't spit in) or sit back and relax on the patio. You can even move your things into one of the available rooms! 03. WILDCARD. Your own scenario! Explore the Drabwurld or simply take advantage of your Locket!

Comments

[slugout]

No, just justifiably suspicious. Who asked you anyway?

[ wait... she's tiny..... ]

... And shouldn't a kid like you be more careful here?

[liven]

A granny like me can do what I like and say what I like.

[ she is admittedly only four foot six and looks like a child but she's your elder and doesn't...bother to really hide what she is...

it seems extra pointless to attempt to even pretend to be human right now in the land of ridiculous fairies. But truthfully, Shijima never really mastered acting like a human or acting like a child. Kouichi was the one who managed to blend. ]

Since when did tables eat souls? I would have noticed such a thing, surely.

[slugout]

You have got to be the least wrinkly granny I have ever seen. How old are you, twelve?

[ excuuuuuse me, grandma. ]

And it's not the tables that do the eating, just the... shadows that look like them. Sometimes they look like statues, or creepy... fat monsters... on rocking horses.

[liven]

No. What sort of granny would I be if I were only twelve?

[ Try a couple centuries!! ...But that would be a straight answer, and while she doesn't bother to pretend to be human very well, Shijima at least doesn't give people straight answers very often.

It's a cat thing, possibly. ]

Ha...you have quite the imagination, little boy. Your world must be an interesting place. How did you keep the shadows of tables from eating you?

[slugout]

A fake one and understandably not wrinkly one. [ baby granny. that's what you are. A TINY PRETEEN BABY GRANNY. ]

The tables don't have shadows, Shadows are just... angry blobs of darkness that can turn into tables or statues — and you beat 'em up with special powers! Or, you know, like, weapons and stuff.

[liven]

You're bad at respecting your elders, aren't you, child?

[ Well, whatever. She's bad at manners, too. And stranger-child continues to sound crazy. ]

Can you eat them? Can you pounce on them and make them bleed? Do they bleed shadow, or blood?

[ ...And Shijima continues to sound...Shijima. ]

[slugout]

[ WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S IN THE UNSEELIE COURT, HUH?? ]

You're not my senpai. [ KANYE SHRUG. ]

... I don't think anyone's ever tried eating them. It's kind of counter productive to the whole... soul eating mind melting stuff. And when you beat them they just kinda poof out of existence? But they don't really bleed so you just kinda gotta keep whacking at them until they die.

[liven]

Then you don't know if they taste good, do you? You should try to eat one the next time you see one.

[ also let her watch how badly that goes svp that sounds less boring than what she's doing now ]

And of course I am not. School is annoying, and I do not like attending it, so I don't.

[ Generally........................ ]

Besides, that is a human thing. A human child thing.

[ And as she is neither human nor a child Shijima's only experience with school has been infiltration for the sake of her mission. It wasn't terrible, but she doesn't care to repeat it... ]

But that does not change the fact I am your elder.

[slugout]

I'm not going to eat something that's trying to eat me. It probably would taste like... tar or something. Even Koro-chan doesn't try to eat them, and he's a dog!

[ ridiculous, i tell you. absolutely ridiculous. ]

Prove it. Are ya a robot or something?

[liven]

I am not. That's a stupid guess. Does granny Shijima look like a robot? She'll bleed if you cut her.

[ She's so unimpressed, Junpei. ]

How could I prove that? Shall we cut off my head and count the rings 'round my neck? But if we do that, we should do yours, first, so we can compare.

[slugout]

Sometimes you can't tell if someone's not a robot! Ai-chan doesn't look a robot until you see the guns she has installed in her arms and her robot shoulders, and her uniform hides them all the time. You're wearing sleeves and saying you're really old even though you look twelve! It's a pretty good guess, if you ask me. [ nobody asked you, junpei.




... uhhhh??? weirdo. ]

No. I like my head where it is.

[liven]

Then it seems like we'll have to take me at my word. If you disagree, we can move on to the cutting off our heads plan to prove my old age.

[ IS...THAT HOW YOU WIN AN ARGUMENT?????

????????????????????????

is she joking? only an owl would be able to tell. ]

[slugout]

... I'm pretty sure people's necks don't work like trees, your plan's lame.

[liven]

Have you ever decapitated someone? I don't think you have. You seem a little squeamish. Therefore, I am the expert, and I assure you that's how they work.

[ It's not................

She could actually survive cutting off her head, though. So she really doesn't care... ]

[slugout]

I may not pay much attention in science class but I at least know we don't get rings in our neck every year! And that's gross, cutting heads off is murder, and that ain't the kinda hero I am!

[ ... ]

I have decapitated Shadows, though, for the record.

[ THE KATANABAT IS NOT JUST FOR SHOW. ]

[liven]

That doesn't count, since they aren't human. Are they?

[ She actually was mostly joking. ...It really is too bad Kouichi isn't there to stop her from joking with people. Shijima's sense of humor is...well, this. ]

I don't make a habit of lying about my age. Only birds do that.

[slugout]

[ uhhhh UHHH THAT'S A... REALLY... GOOD QUESTION... ]

Nahh, if they were, they'd either be human shaped or coffins in the Dark Hour.

[liven]

Many hours are dark. Which one do you refer to?

[ the fuck is your world, child. tables that eat people and hours that are dark??? ]

[slugout]

The secret one at midnight most people don't know about 'cause they get turned into coffins for it.

[ YEAH. yeeaaah. ]

[liven]

We do not have that where I am from.

[ SHIJIMA IS PRETTY SURE SHE WOULD HAVE NOTICED SUCH A THING. She's a cat, she stays up late. ]

[slugout]

You don't know that for sure! Are there any mysterious cases of people just being normal one day and then the next up and like, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and not wanting to do anything but just hanging around?

'Cause that's what happens when a Shadow eats their soul.

[ THE CORRECTNESS OF THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION IS DUBIOUS BECAUSE IT'S COMING FROM JUNPEI, but you get the gist. ]

[liven]

I do. I would have noticed such an hour, or such occurrences.

[ THEREFORE, YOU ARE FROM SOMEWHERE WEIRD AND ELSEWHERE. ]

Are you certain these people are not just teenagers? I have observed that human teenagers have days where they do not want to do anything but hang around quite often.

[ like is this really something we're worried about here ]

[slugout]

It can happen to anybody! Old ladies, businessmen, mall crawlers, punks...

[liven]

Hm. Your old ladies aren't as sturdy as granny Shijima. I would eat the shadow-thing first.

[ she still has no idea what his name is and has no intention of asking these two are great at conversations ]

[slugout]

Please, if you're not awake during the Dark Hour, there's nothing you can do. 'S why my friends and I are here, though, so don't worry.

[ don't worry even though we all got kidnapped and he was... trying to save... the world... just before this... hahaha..... maybe this place is like a sub dark hour? it would make sense, and the decor is tartarus-y enough. ]