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TEST DRIVE #6
TEST DRIVE MEME
Considering apping to EACHDRAIDH? Why not give the setting a test run here! OPTIONAL SCENARIOS 01. ARRIVING IN THE DRABWURLD. The Seelie and Unseelie courts welcome you with mirthful revelry and hearty food. After you have been briefed on your purpose here, you will find an endless feast and a night filled with entertainment to placate your concerns. Mingle with new arrivals, sneak down the castle halls and make sure your eyes are always on your glass; fairies and imps have no bias when it comes to tricks! 02. THE STATION. Looking for a little slice of home? The Station gives you all that and more. Take advantage of the wifi, have a cup of fairy-brewed coffee (the one they didn't spit in) or sit back and relax on the patio. You can even move your things into one of the available rooms! 03. WILDCARD. Your own scenario! Explore the Drabwurld or simply take advantage of your Locket! |
wheatley | portal | unseelie | naked
[Wheatley has not stopped yelling since being literally kidnapped from space. There had been, of course, a brief moment where he wasn't screaming, but that was before he tumbled out of the sack into a crumpled, wet, sticky, human heap. There had been a lot of yelling then, so much that if you asked him what he'd been briefed on before being ushered to the party, he wouldn't be able to tell you.
No, his concern is entirely for the arms and legs and hair and face (oh, god, a face), unceremoniously slapped on him without even being asked. Surprise! Here are some hands that are definitely attached to you. Enjoy!]
No, no, nonono, no, I don't--you didn't even ask me if this was what I wanted! This is--this is completely non-consensual , I'll sue you--!
[There is something of a commotion towards the entrance, centered around a flailing, sputtering, completely uncoordinated man who appears to be incredibly ginger and incredibly naked. He has not seemed to realize that in this situation, negotiating with the imps will prove entirely fruitless, and, unaccustomed to his own (clumsy, human) feet, he crumples, sprawling on the stone floor. Face into the ground, he lets out a long, drawn-out moan.
It sounds like this:]
Ahnnnaaaghhrrnnnghhhhhghrhhghh.
no subject
Ajay's instincts are telling him to steer clear of the scene, especially since he's not totally come to grips with his surroundings himself just yet. But everyone else seems to be steering clear as well, and since he has some firsthand experience with waking up buck naked in the middle of a bad situation...
He's probably going to regret this. But he approaches and squats down near the guy regardless. ]
Hey, uh... You okay?
no subject
[Wheatley makes what seems to be a concentrated effort to right himself, but the overall effect is not unlike a newborn animal (which, technically, he is). Were he not so incredibly occupied with making his new body parts function they way they're supposed to, he might be more taken aback at the presence of a human, mostly because the last he checked, they were all supposed to be dead. He lets out a sort of protracted sob, one that cracks in the middle.
Still, he does seem to recognize that weeping awful human fluids into the floor is not going to be a productive use of his time, and with no small amount of flailing, thrusts his arms out and starts to grasp, legs making a valiant attempt to push against the ground.
It works, sort of, and once he's achieved some semblance of balance, he looks up at the man kneeling beside him. Wheatley's hands, however, clumsily begin to pat himself down, as if taking stock of all this new, unwanted squishiness. One clumsily slaps his own face, the other soon joining it in an apparent attempt to poke and prod.]
It's bad, innit? Would you--do you mind telling me how bad, exactly? I mean, ha, you're all sort of--sort of ugly, that is, uh...a little weird, aesthetically, no offense.
[His hands press together, squishing his cheeks in.]
What's the damage?
no subject
Uh.
[ He gives him a cursory (cursory) glance before he answers, and rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck. ]
Well, it...looks like you're all in one piece, so. No damage, I guess.
no subject
[He looks entirely bewildered for a moment (perhaps more bewildered than the default of suddenly finding oneself in a strange, unfamiliar body), but it doesn't take him more than a few seconds to realize there's been a miscommunication.
Still, he does find issue with one thing, blinking a few times in an almost exaggerated fashion.]
Well, I mean. Seems like the optics are on the fritz, but, uh. I sort of meant...do you have a mirror on you, by any chance?
no subject
[ Think fast, Ajay. He hasn't even seen a mirror in what feels like ages, much less had cause to carry one around; he still has his camera, but of course it's not working; the flat of his knife is probably too dull for a useful reflection... ]
Oh—
[ But it does give him an idea. He pats himself down for a second before he pulls out a pair of aviators, looted off the body of some lieutenant he's already forgotten about. One of the lens is cracked, but the other is still clear and intact, and he swipes over it with the sleeve of his jacket before he offers it to the guy. ]
That's the best I've got.
no subject
Once he has them in position, however, the reaction is instantaneous.]
Oh, no...
[Wheatley appears to be all at once disgusted and incredibly distraught as his free hand pulls four white lines down the side of his face.]
It's worse than I thought, augh, this is--this is awful!
no subject
He sighs and rubs at his neck again. ]
I dunno, you don't look... You look fine to me.
[ After a beat: ]
Not— fine fine, I just meant... You know what I mean.
[ He shouldn't have gotten involved in this. ]
no subject
Fine!? You think this is--this is fine?
[A sphere is a sensible shape--now he's all pink and squishy-looking and covered in ugly little brown dots, with all these bits that stick out, to say nothing of the fact that he's ginger.]
Is there--do you know if there's someone I can complain to? About--about all this? Bodily displacement?
no subject
Maybe you could talk to one of them? [ He gestures vaguely at the imps, though he's still not sure what their purpose is other than to be obnoxious. ] Although, they'd probably appreciate it if you, uh...put on some clothes first.
[ After another beat: ]
And so would everyone else, I think.
no subject
They're the ones who put me in this in the first place!
[He can only assume, anyway, and starts to grumble as he undertakes his next big task: standing.]
Honestly, you humans...
no subject
[ But before Ajay has enough time to mentally pick apart just what the guy means by you humans, he's starting to stand, and the full magnitude of just how much he should not have gotten involved with this starts to bear down on him. ]
Whoa, whoa—
[ Ajay scrambles to his feet ahead of him, starts pulling off his jacket; it's not nearly long enough to cover anything important when worn properly, but shit, at least it's something. ]
You really ought to find something to wear, all right?
no subject
The fact that there is even a preoccupation with clothing in this DIRE SITUATION just kind of baffles him, and his face says as much.]
I don't have anything to wear. Can you help me up?
no subject
Caroline approaches, not exactly out of sympathy, but because, for a brief moment, she believes that she isn't the only person from her own place and time (assuming she isn't simply hallucinating her final, precious living moments away) who has been dropped off here. Not like she is exactly wishing to see Kieran Gallagher again, but he is a step up from being entirely on her own.
Well, disappointment comes quickly, as this is obviously not Gallagher. What he is, however, is naked and disoriented, and she isn't that much of an unfeeling monster. ]
I doubt their legal system would care much for your claim.
[ Having said that, Caroline Caldwell falls victim to one of her rare, benign impulses and offers him her lab coat. Alright, perhaps it's just another form of taking care of herself - there are things she doesn't need or want to see. ]
no subject
It takes him a moment to realize that someone is dangling a lab coat in front of him--he's seen them on the scientists, of course, but he's never exactly entertained the idea of wearing one. Small, spherical robots don't exactly have much use for clothes, after all, and he lifts his head up and stares at it, not quite comprehending what he's supposed to do with it, exactly.]
Um.
[There's another long moment as he realizes that she's handing it to him, though he doesn't exactly make the connection between being naked and other people wanting him to not be naked. He continues to concentrate his efforts on standing up, instead, to little success.]
They'd better lawyer up, at any rate, because I--this is unacceptable, is what this is. Augh, god, am I--am I leaking?
[Wheatley clumsily drags a hand across his face to confirm that yes. He is apparently leaking.]
no subject
With that thought encouraging her, empathy.exe attempts a relaunch. ]
You seem quite unfamiliar with having a functional body.
[ What a wonderful, if not entirely serious hypothesis that is. On the other hand, perhaps he had been paralyzed in some way, before having been brought here. That could almost be called logical. Or her hallucinations are going beyond wild now. The lab coat is temporarily withdrawn as she offers him a - badly scarred - hand instead. Perhaps he'll be more inclined to covering himself if he isn't lying on the ground. ]
he's so gross i'm so sorry
I had a functional body! It was--it was perfectly functional, and did all the things I needed it to do, and it wasn't--it wasn't this!
[Wheatley mashes his hands against his face, and here he goes. Trying for another sniff, that mostly just results in more snot and perhaps some amount of drool. Remembering to swallow is hard. Caroline's hand, unfortunately, goes ignored, but that might be for the best.]
This is dysfunctional, is what this is! How do I--how do I make it stop!?
he's gross and she's useless, it's the perfect thread
How do I make it stop is precisely the question she is asking herself right now. She looks over her shoulder, as if expecting some mysterious force of help from someone else, but there is no such luck. For neither of them. ]
Deep breathing.
[ Can't he ask how to best remove a brain from a skull while doing as little tissue damage as possible? The theory of general relativity? She would be good at explaining those, but here she is, attempting to calm someone down with the first thing that comes to her mind. Remembering the last attempts -- ]
Through your mouth, if possible. In and out.
[ What did Dr Selkirk do when she was close to crying again? Dodging hard work. That's not the answer she is looking for right now. ]
What's your name?
[ Distraction by means of common, informal conversation, thus creating the illusion of an, at least partially, normalized social context. That is an option, right? That calms people who... claim to not have a human body before. ]
hooray
I'm--
[The hysterics seem to be rapidly replaced by a growing despondency. His head drops and he seems overly-focused on his hands, clenching and unclenching as if trying to make them work.]
It's Wheatley.
no subject
Wheatley.
[ She isn't going to tell him how one of her test subjects at the base had been named Wheatley, too. That would probably make him worried about the integrity of his new found body. ]
Do you recall anything of what they have told you about your... changed physical disposition?
[ A roundabout way of finding out what exactly is wrong with him is still a way! Not a preferred one, though. ]
no subject
I mean, they didn't tell me anything.
[Which isn't exactly true--he was just sort of panicking through it.]
I'm not--I'm not human, if that's what you mean.