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TEST DRIVE #6
TEST DRIVE MEME
Considering apping to EACHDRAIDH? Why not give the setting a test run here! OPTIONAL SCENARIOS 01. ARRIVING IN THE DRABWURLD. The Seelie and Unseelie courts welcome you with mirthful revelry and hearty food. After you have been briefed on your purpose here, you will find an endless feast and a night filled with entertainment to placate your concerns. Mingle with new arrivals, sneak down the castle halls and make sure your eyes are always on your glass; fairies and imps have no bias when it comes to tricks! 02. THE STATION. Looking for a little slice of home? The Station gives you all that and more. Take advantage of the wifi, have a cup of fairy-brewed coffee (the one they didn't spit in) or sit back and relax on the patio. You can even move your things into one of the available rooms! 03. WILDCARD. Your own scenario! Explore the Drabwurld or simply take advantage of your Locket! |
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It's Steve.
[Of course he's like that. But he lets out a huff of a breath.]
We're doing okay.
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Okay is fine by me.
[ a beat, and then softly; ]
How about you, how're you holding up? This place is a lot to take in, I feel like my head's gonna explode most of the time. Seems like you're handling it a lot better'n me.
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Always have to adapt to something.
[Every time he woke up was something different, different faces, more advanced weapons, different cities. And then he was out, with a head full of conditioning and a world he'd never had to fully navigate before.
Adaptation. It was a mission requirement. And now it's the only thing holding him together.
...that and Steve.
Not to mention everything going on in his head is more complicated and difficult than whatever he has to deal with in the rest of the world.]
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[ in general. sam knows what barnes means, knows he's talking about the missions he ran with half a mind and a weapon in both hands, but the point stands. people gotta adapt to their surroundings if they're ever gonna get anywhere. barnes just happens to be a whole lot better at it, even if it's for unfortunate reasons.
still. he ain't jumping onto the 'hydra didn't break you' sermon right off the bat. start with the baby steps, like the world-destroying war hanging over their heads. sam gives him a sort of hapless smile, still overwhelmingly impressed by things he can't outright say to barnes just yet. ]
You look good, man. Might not mean a whole lot coming from a perfect stranger, but I think I got a half-decent basis for comparison. You're doing well.
[ between mindless killing machine and the guy that's doing his level best to have a normal conversation? sam'll carry pride for barnes if he can't do it for himself. it's not his place, not really, but. well.
he might do it for steve too. sam can't really help himself when there's someone that needs solid ground, and there's nobody that deserves it more than these two. ]
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You're doing well.
No. He's not. Because everything he does feels simultaneously like a step forward and a step back, because he's lost and the only things keeping him grounded are adaptation and Steve and he can't rely on those. Not when Steve's on the other side of the war and adaptation isn't really a solution for anything.
Because he doesn't know who he is or what he's doing or what he's supposed to do, because he feels like he's walking on glass all the fucking time, and he still can't even say any of this to anyone, not even Steve, because half the time he can't even fucking talk.
He shakes his head.
No. He's not doing well. Even the memories he gets are fractured. Everything's fractured. He doesn't have a mission, he doesn't have anything.
He shakes his head again and looks away, turning away and walking down a nearby alley and finding a corner to put his back against and slide down into.]
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sam can't hear it, but he can guess. even if barnes found the words to say it himself, no one in the world will understand what he's been through, what he's dealing with now. but he can guess.
he waits a few seconds for barnes to get - situated, for lack of a better word, before he quietly follows after him. he leaves a safe distance of a few steps between them when he stops and asks, tone light and patient; barnes has all the room he might need to say no: ]
Is it okay if I sit with you?
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he won't say anything, though, not for a short while. barnes found a small and quiet place to tuck himself away, welcomed sam into some small corner of it. he's content to leave it at that, if that's what b wants; he'll just drink his coffee quietly, patiently.
he'll start talking again in a few minutes if barnes doesn't wanna break the silence himself, but for now, sam'll simply wait at his side. ]
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Easier said than done, really.]
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sam waits until what's left in his cup can't really be called coffee anymore before he sets it down, looking directly at barnes for the first time in the last ten minutes or so. it's good for anyone to have their own time and space, but they can't stay there forever. sam'll be there to fill in the silence. ]
Did Steve ever tell you what I did, back home?
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Wasn't just a bird for kicks, y'know. I was a pararescueman, flyin' into the hottest zones you could find in our war to carry people back out of it. Did that for awhile - longer than Steve was on active service, actually.
[ and you, he doesn't say, because he doesn't know how much barnes remembers of the european theater and doesn't want to put him on that spot. it's casual, friendly, almost teasing; there's a slight smirk before it fades into a softer smile, almost sad. he lets his head rest against the wall and looks somewhere above barnes as he continues. ]
'til I couldn't do that anymore. Needed some time to myself, to figure out what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. And that took a long time. Spent most of it just ... angry, and confused. Missing something that I wasn't ever gonna get back.
[ a beat, and he looks back at barnes with a sort of brightness to his eyes, something sincere and passionate, even when it's pained. ]
Eventually figured out that I wanted help people, as much as I can and wherever I can. I wanted be the guy you could call when you think there's no one else that would answer.
[ another beat, longer than the last. trying to let that settle in, maybe, or just giving barnes times to decide what exactly that means. sam isn't his counselor and he won't try to be, not if it isn't welcome, but it's important to him when people are important to him; barnes might a stranger by all accounts, but he's important, to steve and to america and to sam, personally, because he's so much more than anyone could ever hope to imagine. ]
You don't gotta talk about it now, or ever if you don't want to, but I want you to know that about me. My metaphorical door is always open if you ever want it, B.
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The concept of talking about what's happened to him is still relatively new, relatively strange, because most of what happened is still... vague. Flashes of scattered memories that don't make much sense. Even if he could successfully communicate in general, how is he supposed to communicate that?
But... things do come back. And they have been, even if it's slow. And when they are back, is he really going to want to keep them to himself?
He's not sure.
For now, he nods slowly. He understands what Sam's offering, even if... he's not sure he's going to take him up on it.]
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Good. Now lemme tell you about this dumb shit I did flyin' out of Kabul once, I swear I could hear my momma scolding me all the way across the Atlantic.
[ sam will seriously just babble about nothing for as long as barnes sits with him, okay, and he'll make sure to keep glancing back at barnes and give him opportunities to respond whether he takes them or not. simple, patient. it's all good. ]
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But he prefers hearing Sam talk. It helps him focus on something outside of his own head, which he has trouble with sometimes.]