IC Speed Dating Meme

[fairbrook]

IC Speed Dating Meme

Rules:
1. Post with your character by creating a "card" with your name, sex, and preferences.
2. Tag to others.
3. You supposedly only have seven minutes, but that's up to the muns how many comments. [To hell with that, let's not put a limit on how many comments]
4. Have fun.

Comments

[notavirtue]

NAME: Javik
GENDER: Prothean
PREFERENCES: I do not date primitives

[noirant]

What on earth is a 'prothean', other than presumably not primitive?

[ is it a cricket??? where is his wish, jiminy ]

[notavirtue]

[wow fuck you!!]

I am a prothean. And I am not from Earth.

[noirant]

[ no way he's a primitive!! we just covered this javik ]

Well, you're certainly standing on something. [ who names planets things what the hell is a planet ] Still, that's fascinating -- your people lack, ah, genders?

[ is this a girl. is he talking to a girl cricket. why didn't he study entomology ]

[notavirtue]

[RIM SHOT.]

The planet Earth. We are standing on the ground of a planet that they have tried to tell me is flat.

[He's definitely a dude, but this is a golden opportunity for messing with a primitive. Which is what this guy totally is.] Correct.

[noirant]

We're standing on ground; I rather think we would have noticed were it a planet. Unless you propose we walk among stars?

[ well yeah they fell to the ground like a month ago ]

No matter -- [ he knows less about astronomy than he'd like so better not to try and explain why they know the world is flat to this crazy bug ma-- wo -- person ] -- I suppose that any inquiry upon the subject more than risks impropriety, but what do you think of the human notion of them, then? They've always caused a great deal of trouble where I'm from -- genders, that is, not planets.

I suppose the planets as well, if you take half a measure of sense from divination.

[notavirtue]

[Blank stare. That's exactly what he was proposing, but whatever. There was just no educating some people.]

I think it is primitive. [C'mon, you could see that coming a mile away.] You define yourselves in restrictive categories, and take offense at any perceived infraction. How your species has managed to procreate this long with such a system in place is a mystery.

[huge_egomd]

So...basically your only option is to date yourself.

Hope you've got plenty of hand lotion.

[notavirtue]

I do not require it.

[Right into the TMI zone, good job, House.]

rofl

[huge_egomd]

Self-lubricating? That's handy...no pun intended.


[TMI is what he lives for.]

im dyin

[notavirtue]

I have no interest in physical relationships with species that are lacking.

[Lacking in what? Everything.]

Clearly they are the best trolls...I mean friends ;)

[huge_egomd]

Lacking...lubricant? Because you know you can buy that now. Edible even, in a variety of popular flavors.

why not both!

[notavirtue]

If I am to apply flavoring to something, that means I intend to eat it.

[Really, that could be either an oral sex joke, or he was talking about eating prey.]

[extramural]

This whole... situation... appears to be a waste of time.

[ actually he would love it if he could just watch

but ]

[notavirtue]

I do not understand the social structure of this exercise. If these aliens wish to mate, they should do so. Timing interactions is, as you say, a waste of time.

[SO WHY WERE THEY HERE.]

[extramural]

[ to judge everyone?? ]

It seems very much like a game.

[notavirtue]

[oh my god becky, look at her butt]

I detest these 'games' as much as the participants. [Glares at him.] Are you not human? Does this not interest you?

[extramural]

[ it is soooo big ]

I am not. [ Formerly, but that was four thousand years ago. ]

[notavirtue]

[Horray, another person that looked human that wasn't human. He hated this place.]

Then what are you? Vampire?

[He didn't have the ears to be an elf.]

[tawarwaith]

Define primitive?

[ Curious minds want to know. ]

[notavirtue]

Unevolved species that have not achieved spaceflight, let alone mastered mass effect technology. Primitives communicate poorly as well. Like these cards.

[It's a miracle he took the time to write something with a pencil.]

[tawarwaith]

I guess I am a primitive species then. I do not even understand what a mass effect is.

[ If she didn't know you at all, she'd think you were making up words at this point. ]

[notavirtue]

Your kind has similarities to my own, but you are correct. You are still primitive. Mass effect is what allows us to travel great distances in short amounts of time, and much more beyond that.

[Just because you had one conversation doesn't mean you're immune to him making shit up, Tauriel.]

[tawarwaith]

[ Elves have a better sense of knowing when people are lying sir! ]

And primitive we will probably stay. We are not much inclined for technology and innovation.

[notavirtue]

[Ruin his fun, why don't you!!]

If you cannot adapt when the world changes around you, your species will fail.

[He's a real smooth talker with the ladies.]